This question has been asking itself of me for the past little while.
The short answer, that has been gradually revealing itself to me is no.
A lot of what I live form parts of my dream, my passions.
2 years ago I wrote a 5 year vision – my dream for myself. I want to see where I am, 2/5 of the way down the road.
My Purpose
To instill a better understanding of the importance of human relationship in myself and the people I interact with through teaching and learning.
This purpose still rings true to me, though it is difficult. I still default to independent learning when life gives me challenges, to cocooning myself in my apartment to think and mull things over. I pull myself out of it much faster than ever before, though not as fast as I’d like.
My Vision
In 2009 I am happy – I laugh and smile a lot! I am in good physical shape because I take care of myself by going to my doctor and dentist on a regular basis, by eating the foods I know are good for me, by drinking a lot of water, and by listening to the wants and needs of my body.
Lately I sit at my computer working even though my neck is sore and my legs are stiff. I don’t always eat well (a few too many candies!) and I am not drinking enough water. I know that this has only been happening for the past month, maybe 6 weeks. Coinciding with a relationship that, well, that ‘went against the grain’ and a growing feeling of unease about my work. I have this quote on my desktop:
“Are you aware of your body’s wisdom? Our bodies usually know us better than our minds do. If you have a decision to make, consult your body before making a final choice.”
– Osho
Yet I didn’t notice what I was doing to my body. Luckily I do now and am getting myself out of that pattern! There is still something I am not happy about, though. I am still not living my dream.
Another reason why I smile so much is that I have begun to let my friends into my life a bit more now. I trust that they are there for me and because of this I pay more attention to them.
Yes. I feel good with my friends and am making conscious efforts to keep them in my life. I spend more time with them on a regular basis – so important! Dinner club and creative group – both groups made up of close friends – are events that are priorities for me!
I continue to work in education – I can’t imagine doing anything else! I am based at a small school where I teach part time and I also work as a consultant in other schools. I also attend many conferences and workshops where I am focusing on learning about assessment and evaluation, areas in which I would like to feel more confident and aware. What I love about my job is that I am able to combine the two things that I love about education– working with students and helping them to realize their full potential as learners within a community of learners, and working with teachers and administrators to help them achieve the same thing with the students they work with.
I have been thinking about this more and more often. I began my current job as an education consultant in August and when I received the offer in May I was ecstatic! I thought that it was my dream job. But, I find myself saying, ‘I miss working with kids‘ quite often. I work with teachers and administrators. I am working towards changing a system to be more student friendly, more compasionate, more real. But without consistent contact with the children it feels like something is missing. I can not say I am living my dream without them as a presence. The positives right now are that I am gaining valuable experience in working as an education consultant, in working at a more administrarial position (in terms of funding and supervising programs), so that when the time is right, and my dream job presents itself (or I create it 
) I will feel prepared.
So. the dream is still there, it can unfold if I make it do so.
